Dreams

I kissed my boy last night. He made my lips tingle, and his arms were protecting me from pain, cold, fear, hurt. I wish I hadn't had that dream. It has woken a memory, re-stabbed a wound. Broken my heart all over again. I hurt in places that I've kept secret from myself for so long that I'd almost managed to forget. And now I remember again. I know now that my arm will go round his waist and my hand come to rest against his hipbone, and that as we lean into the wind together his arm goes round my back and his hand will settle on my shoulder. I can even smell the wool of his coat and see the shine in his eye that tells me he feels the same. Oh tantalising dream you kill me with your hints and suggestions and today I'm supposed to carry on and buy socks and clean toilets and be mum.